Getting tested together is like the “I love you.”

The only real question you should ask before you have unprotected sex is: ‘when last did you get tested?” Actually, even if you are in a serious, committed, long term deal and one of you is on birth control that’s not enough. Not in this day and age.

You should both go for a full range of tests: from HIV to herpes to thrush or All OF IT!  You don’t really want to about your partner’s sexual past: how many girls your partner has bedded or just how kinky you girl was with her ex. Getting tested together is like the “I love you.”

There needs to be trust before these details are put on the table. And the best way to get there is by knowing that you’re both clean – and taking medication to get to the all clear. But there is a certain level of openness that is allowed. I mean you want to be able to tell your partner what you like in the bedroom without coming across as having a degree in promiscuity.

In the same breath you don’t want your past experience to make them feel insure about their level of experience. Still, the most important thing is staying safe and keeping your partner safe. Stick to that rule – the pleasure you get from each other will be on another, better level.

There is no law at present in South Africa forcing people to let you know they are HIV positive before they sleep with you. But a person that infects their sexual partner while knowing their HIV status could be charged with murder, attempted murder or assault under the South African law.

How much should your partner really know about your sexual partner? How do you protect the one love from the disease and still keep from losing them if you have an STI